


jealousy

by killerqueenwrites



Series: i will always hold you close (irondad bingo) [5]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Arguments, Gen, Harley Keener & Peter Parker Friendship, Identity Reveal, Jealousy, Kidnapping, Misunderstandings, Parent Tony Stark, Protective Peter Parker, Whump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-16
Updated: 2020-11-16
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:35:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27592826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/killerqueenwrites/pseuds/killerqueenwrites
Summary: Harley Keener is loud, brash and Southern, full of himself in a way Peter half-envies, half-loathes; he’s exactly the kind of person that Peter doesn’t get on with. Mr Stark likes him, though, and that’s enough for Peter to try and muscle through the two weeks.“Didn’t take you long to replace me, did it?” is the first thing Harley says when Mr Stark introduces them.
Relationships: Harley Keener & Peter Parker, Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Series: i will always hold you close (irondad bingo) [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2016994
Comments: 11
Kudos: 440
Collections: The Best Harley Keener & (or /) Peter Parker Fics, The Best Irondad/Spiderson Fics, The Best Peter Parker Whump Fics, The Best of the Best MCU Fics





	jealousy

**Author's Note:**

> if you're subscribed to me, sorry for the spam you're getting. i'm reuploading my irondad bingo one-shots as individual stories to make it easier for people to find them and so they can be stories in their own right. [ they were originally posted here.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19019488/chapters/45168637)

They’re in the lab, working in comfortable silence, when Mr Stark first brings it up.

“How’s your spring break looking, Pete?”

“Hm?”

“You busy?”

“Um…” Peter leans back in his chair and twirls his pen thoughtfully. “I don’t think so? I’ll probably have work to do, and maybe some extra Decathlon practice, but I’ll be around. Why?”

Mr Stark grins at him from his own workstation. “I want you to meet someone. Remember that Mandarin thing?”

“Do I? I was freaking out! May banned me from watching the news.”

“Cute, Underoos. Anyway, I met a kid while I was hiding out in Tennessee. I think you’d like him; he’s like another little mini-me.”

Peter smiles, although the idea of sharing his time with Mr Stark isn’t the most appealing. Maybe he can convince MJ to schedule some extra practice to get him out of the lab sometimes. “Yeah, yeah, sure. I’d like to meet him.”

“Great!” Mr Stark looks so pleased that Peter knows there’s no way he can back out.

* * *

Harley Keener is loud, brash and Southern, full of himself in a way Peter half-envies, half-loathes; he’s exactly the kind of person that Peter doesn’t get on with. Mr Stark likes him, though, and that’s enough for Peter to try and muscle through the two weeks.

“Didn’t take you long to replace me, did it?” is the first thing Harley says when Mr Stark introduces them.

He calls Mr Stark ‘Tony’, which speaks to some level of deep familiarity that Peter can only dream of. He ribs Mr Stark to the point of being offensive, but never gets called out on it, and talks as often as he can about ‘that time in Rose Hill’. He makes jokes that Peter can’t begin to understand (and what’s so funny about a Dora the Explorer watch, anyway?). Whenever Mr Stark asks them a question in the lab, Harley jumps in first, unfailingly giving the right answers. Peter ends up just keeping his head down and staying in his corner while Harley occupies every possible inch of space he can.

“What’s that?” he demands over Peter’s shoulder as he’s measuring out his web fluid. “It looks like Spider-Man’s webs.”

Peter decides to at least try to be polite. “Kind of. I’m trying to replicate it.”

“Good luck,” Harley scoffs. “Tony said even he couldn’t work out the formula.”

“Well, I actually work on some of Spider-Man’s stuff, so-“

“Yeah, sure.” Harley rolls his eyes. “You’ve never been in the same _room_ as Spider-Man.”

In that instant, he sounds so much like Flash Thompson that Peter’s tentative dislike bubbles over into seething resentment.

* * *

“I just think you need to give him a chance, man,” Ned says, lying on his stomach on Peter’s bedroom floor. “It’s only been a couple of days.”

Peter just grunts in response.

“You didn’t think you were the only person Tony Stark talks to, did you?”

“No!” Peter drops from the ceiling and only narrowly avoids the meticulously sorted piles of Lego. “But this guy’s different, okay? He’s our age, and he’s cool and funny and he makes Mr Stark laugh. He gets to stay at the Tower the whole time he’s here. He’s smart, but he’s, like, an asshole about it. Half the time, he pretends I’m not there.”

“Are you jealous?”

“No.”

“You sound jealous.”

“I’m not jealous!”

“Sure, dude.” Ned crunches a chip. “Have you maybe considered that he’s intimidated by you?”

“By me?”

“You’re Tony Stark’s personal intern. You’re smart and funny. You’re sixteen and freaking jacked. You spend so much time with Mr Stark, and this guy met him once, like, years ago.”

“Then why does Mr Stark like him better?”

“I’m sure he doesn’t.”

“You haven’t _been_ there–“

“It’s probably nothing, dude.”

“Yeah,” Peter mutters. “Wait until you meet him.”

* * *

“You leaving early, Pete?”

Peter pauses stuffing his things into his backpack and manages a smile. He’d honestly wondered if anyone would notice him going. “Uh, yeah, sorry, I said I’d meet Ned and MJ.”

“Why don’t you tag along, Harley?” Mr Stark suggests, barely glancing up from his workbench. “You’ll all get on well, you little nerds.” This is said with a great amount of fondness.

“I don’t know…it’s a, uh, Decathlon thing, right, Parker?”

“Right.”

“Well, you may as well get out and about. These diagnostics are going to need a couple of hours to run.”

“That means you too, old man,” Harley says teasingly. “I know what you’re like.”

“All right, fine.” Mr Stark grins back. “We all need to get out of the lab. So? Pete? You mind Harley meeting your friends?”

“…sure.” Peter does his best to hide his sigh.

* * *

Harley gets on with Ned and MJ, because of course he does.

“No way! Dude, that’s _awesome_ ,” Ned laughs. “You saved Mr Stark’s life.”

“Yeah, cool,” Peter mumbles, and MJ shoots him a confused look but doesn’t press him.

“So what’s Stark like?” she asks instead. “Just from someone who doesn’t have Peter’s blind hero worship.”

“Hey–“

“Well, first of all, he’s a nerd,” Harley says. “Like, what you expect, but also what you don’t. Dude loves classic rock, and he makes so many references to so many films, like, all the time.”

Peter sips his soda and swipes some of MJ’s fries. He’s so _hungry_.

“And I know you’re probably thinking the usual shit about billionaires, but he’s not like that. He’s really not. Well, he was more of an asshole when I met him, but even then…” Harley shrugs. “He’s just a…good person.”

MJ quirks an eyebrow. “He wasn’t.”

“What’s the point of learning if people never let us forget the mistakes we made?” Harley fires back.

MJ never looks impressed, but she does now. “As long as we don’t forget the mistakes we learned from.”

“Damn right.”

Peter lets them talk, watches them get more and more animated, and tries to identify the horrible churning feeling in his stomach. Then he tries to ignore it.

“Whoa, Tony Stark gave you a workshop?”

“And a car.”

“Weren’t you, like, eleven?”

“Twelve, but yeah.”

“ _Badass_.”

“Kinda tracks that Stark would give a kid a sports car,” Michelle agrees, amused.

And so on and so on.

“We should probably get back,” Harley says eventually. “It was nice to meet you guys, though. Coming, Parker?”

“Oh, um…” Peter fiddles with his backpack. “I was just gonna head home, actually.”

“What?” Harley looks him up and down. “Thought you were staying tonight?”

“I – yeah, but I, um…don’t feel well! Yeah, I feel kinda gross, actually. Might not make it tomorrow, either.” Ned is looking at him strangely, but Peter just shrugs and hopes Harley doesn’t know him well enough to tell he’s lying.

“Oh.” Harley frowns. “Tony’ll be disappointed.”

“Yeah, I bet.” Peter shrugs again. “Tell him not to worry. I’ll see him when I see him. You good getting the subway back by yourself?”

“Yeah.”

“Cool.” Peter does his handshake with Ned, maybe being a bit more obnoxious about it than usual, and heads in the direction of his apartment.

He needs a nap.

* * *

The nap is good. Great. Awesome, in fact. So awesome he nearly sleeps right through his phone buzzing on his bedside table.

_“Hey, kid.”_

“Hi,” Peter croaks, still not fully awake, but it seems to work in his favour.

He can practically hear the sympathetic face Mr Stark is making _. “Oh, shit, you sound bad. Harley mentioned you weren’t feeling great.”_

“Yeah. Dunno what it is.”

_“It’s weird, is what it is,”_ Mr Stark says, his tone conversational. _“I thought you couldn’t get sick.”_

“Yeah, uh…me too?”

_“Is everything all right? You love the lab – I’ve dragged you out of here loopy on anaesthetics because you wanted to finish a project.”_

“I’m fine, Mr Stark. Or I will be, I guess. Just, um, a lot of work to do – revision, that kinda thing. I’m sure if I just sleep it off, I’ll be fine.”

_“Uh-huh. Want me to talk to the school? I can be one of_ those _parents, you know.”_

“Oh, really?” Peter tries to ignore the way his stomach does a flip at the P word. “What would you say?”

_“Oh, something about how my intern is getting too stressed with the amount of work he’s being given to focus properly, the usual – hang on. What, kid?”_

Oh. Harley’s there. For a wonderful moment, Peter had managed to forget.

_“Sorry, he’s just asking about dinner. Make sure you eat as well, yeah?”_

“Mm-hm.”

_“Well, maybe see you tomorrow. Hope you feel better.”_

“Actually, Mr Stark…”

_“Hm?”_

“I might just…take some time off, if that’s okay. Focus on schoolwork. Finals and stuff, you know?”

_“Okay. If that’s what you want, kid.”_

Well, that was easy. It stings how little resistance there was. “So, guess I’ll see you after the break, Mr Stark. Maybe before, who knows?”

_“Yeah, sure. See you, Underoos.”_

* * *

**_Message from: Actual Tony Stark: Sunday 10:15_ **

_Hey kid. Hope you’re feeling better._

**_Message from: Actual Tony Stark: Monday 13:05_ **

_Feel up to swinging by today? Figured out that problem with your webshooters._

**_Message to: Actual Tony Stark: Monday 20:11_ **

_sorry mr stark i had a lot of work today maybe another time??_

**_Message from: Actual Tony Stark: Monday 20:17_ **

_Sure, no worries._

**_Message from: Actual Tony Stark: Wednesday 17:09_ **

_Feel like you can spare some time for little old me tomorrow?_

**_Message to: Actual Tony Stark: Wednesday 22:43_ **

_sorry school is still kicking my ass_

**_Wednesday 22:44_ **

_butt i meant butt_

**_Message from: Actual Tony Stark: Wednesday 22:49_ **

_Sure kid. Friday?_

**_Message to: Actual Tony Stark: Wednesday 22:53_ **

_may has a day off and she wants to spend it together_

**_Wednesday 22:55_ **

_i’ll let you know as soon as i’m free!_

**_Message from: Actual Tony Stark: Wednesday 22:57_ **

_Okay kid._

**_Message from: Actual Tony Stark: Saturday 10:46_ **

_Feel like taking a break today? You must be bored of studying._

**_Message from: Actual Tony Stark: Saturday 11:33_ **

_ap chem might actually kill me_

**_Saturday 11:34_ **

_but i should struggle through to the end it’s been nice knowing you_

**_Message from: Actual Tony Stark: Saturday 11:39_ **

_I thought you liked chemistry?_

**_Message to: Actual Tony Stark: Saturday 11:53_ **

_i do!! but it’s hardddd!!!_

**_Saturday 11:57_ **

_also may is sending me out to do All the errands when i’m done so i don’t think i’ll have time today sorry_

**_Message from: Actual Tony Stark: Saturday 11:59_ **

_The amazing Spider-Man, grocery shopper extraordinaire._

**_Message to: Actual Tony Stark: Saturday 12:03_ **

_do you think i’d get it for free if i went in the suit??_

**_Message from: Actual Tony Stark: Saturday 12:05_ **

_Try it and see._

* * *

“Hey, Parker!”

Peter turns before he registers the movement; he wasn’t expecting that voice, not here, not today.

“Where’ve you been?” Harley almost looks concerned. “You’ve been blowing off Tony for more than a week now. He’s moping all over the place. He’s doing that thing he does – you know the one – where he keeps staring at your desk and sighing. God, it’s like you’ve died or something–“

Peter lets out a derisive huff. “Well, I didn’t want to get in the way of you and _Tony_ , so…”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

He shrugs. “I just always feel like – I don’t know, like I’m an unwanted extra around you two. You’ve known him longer, and–“

“Are you kidding?” Harley screws his face up. “What, you’re so used to having him all to yourself that you can’t handle one extra person hanging around?”

“I–“

“You know him way better than I do! You’re with him every fucking weekend. I’m just the kid who helped him that one time. You really couldn’t pretend to like me for two weeks? Two _weeks_!”

“He’s been going on about you for weeks. Harley this, Harley that-“

“Christ, dude, what is with you? You just needy, or what?”

Something cold starts to slide down the base of Peter’s neck, a trickle of ice water, but he ignores it; Harley’s tone gets his back up like nothing else can. “Oh, coming from you? You’re all over him! ‘Tony, look at this.’ ‘Hey, Tony, remember this?’”

“Are you serious? You don’t even try to join in. Conversations can happen with more than one person, you know.”

“Yeah, which would be great if I had any idea what you’re talking about!” The humming at the base of Peter’s skull rises to a scream and he winces, folding his arms to hide his sudden goosebumps.

The street is quiet when he glances around, but his senses don’t let up. It’s another second before he realises it’s too quiet. Harley, country through and through, hasn’t noticed anything wrong.

“Start walking.” Peter’s voice is barely a whisper, but it cuts through whatever Harley is in the middle of ranting about.

“What?”

“Just walk, dude.” Panic takes over and he gives Harley a hard shove. “Trust me.”

“What the hell–?”

Tyres screech and a black van peels around the corner, skidding to a halt right where they’re standing.

Peter gives up any hope of staying calm, yelping “Run!” and pushing Harley in front of him as he takes off. He’d give anything for his suit right now, even his webshooters.

Heavy boots are thudding against the sidewalk behind them, matching the pounding heartbeat in Peter’s ears. He’s so preoccupied with being chased that he doesn’t even consider they’re being herded.

Harley hits a solid wall of black uniforms, grunts and stumbles backwards, but men are already grabbing him, wrestling his arms behind his back. Peter lashes out, wrenching his wrist out of someone’s bruising grasp and struggling to break out of the circle of men. He can’t use his full strength, though, not with so many witnesses and Harley in danger.

“These kids better be worth it,” one of them grunts.

“Every cent.”

A sharp prick in his arm. A cold rush of dizziness. Harley slumps in the grip of strange men, and Peter’s vision goes black.

* * *

Peter wakes up to the sound of muffled laughter.

_Stay calm. Assess the situation._

“Two interns?”

“Uh-huh. Think he’ll pay a little extra?”

“He’s gonna have to, ain’t he?”

Peter does his best to pretend he’s still asleep, even when one of the men leans in close. Hot breath hits his nostrils, the stench clinging to his skin and clothes.

“Shall we do one at a time? Give him a bit of a surprise?”

“See if he does what we want with just one of them. If he does, we get a little extra cash to go with what the boss is paying us. If he doesn’t, he’s gonna have twice as many screaming kids in his inbox.”

“Come on, you heard the boss. First video needs to be like a trailer.”

Peter squints one eye open, watching the two men crouch over a slumped body in the corner.

Of course they’re filming Harley before him. Of _course_.

“Hey, Stark. Missing anything?”

Harley lets out a sleepy grunt in protest, clearly still drugged. All he can do is try and roll away, but the men follow with the camera, sniggering.

“Got an intern here who looks a little lost. Don’t sweat, though; if you do what you’re told, you’ll get him back safe and sound. We’ll be in touch with our demands. I’d suggest agreeing to them, if I were you, or this one won’t stay in one piece for very long.”

“Aaand cut.”

They both laugh.

Harley groans again, one hand scrubbing at his eyes.

“Okay, they’re coming around. Better tie them up.”

Before Peter can react, they grab his arms and yank them behind his back, tying them together tightly.

“Parker…” Harley whispers. “Peter? Wake up.”

Peter grunts, doing his best to appear sleepy. “What…?”

“Hey, shut it.”

Harley gasps in pain.

“The boss is coming, so just keep quiet and you’ll be out of here soon enough.”

Peter opens his eyes when more footsteps enter the room and shuffles so he’s sitting up.

“You got both of them?” This man is clearly the leader, judging by the way the others are looking at him. “Good.”

“It was easier than we thought, Boss. They were both together.”

“Hey, what the fuck is this about?” Harley struggles to his knees.

The leader regards him with amusement. “Nothing personal, boys.”

“What is it about, then?” Peter says, giving Harley a warning glare. _Don’t piss them off._

“We need Stark to get something for us – well, someone.”

“Who?”

“No one important. Just, uh, Spider-Man.”

Oh, he’s _fucked_.

* * *

The men leave. They sit in silence for a long time.

“Well,” Harley says finally, “this is shit.”

“Yeah.”

“Do you know…?”

“Do I know what?”

“ _Spider-Man_ , dude.”

“No.”

“But you said-“

“I said I do some of his tech for him when Mr Stark is busy. He’s pretty secretive.”

Harley shifts. “Does Tony know who he is?”

“Maybe.” Peter does his best to shrug with his hands tied behind his back. “If anyone does, it’s probably him.”

“Will he sell him out? For us, d’you think?”

Would he? Peter hasn’t exactly been the best example of why Mr Stark should keep him around recently. Besides, if it comes down to a choice between literal superhuman Peter and very-much-human Harley, he’d have to save Harley. Peter would do the same.

“Parker?”

“…I don’t know.”

Harley doesn’t say anything else.

* * *

Peter starts counting the bricks in the wall after about half an hour. His shoulders are starting to ache from being held behind him; he’d break out of the ropes if it weren’t a flashing neon sign that he’s exactly what their captors are looking for.

Mr Stark has told him a thousand times before that if he ever gets into a situation like this, he just needs to wait it out. “I’ll find you,” he’d said. “Just keep your head down and stay alive.”

Except there’s no way for Mr Stark to negotiate him out of here.

Harley doesn’t have the same ‘sit still, keep quiet’ philosophy as him. He huffs, stands up, sits down, stands again, wanders around their cell, kicks the wall.

“Dude,” Peter says mildly.

“Sorry,” Harley mutters. “Aren’t you bored?”

“ _So_ bored.”

Harley gives him a half-smile before plopping down beside him; Peter is surprised to find he doesn’t mind. “Do I really annoy you that much?”

Okay. They’re going there. “…no. Not really. You were right; I’m just not used to – it’s usually only me and Mr Stark.”

“Yeah.” Harley nods. “I mean – good. I thought you hated me.”

“Well, I thought you hated me.”

“You would be easy to hate,” Harley muses. “I mean, you’re smart, and funny when you actually speak, you have an internship with Tony Stark, and you know Spider-“

“Shh!”

“Oh. Shit. My point is, I can see that people might get jealous of you. Or find you scary, I don’t know.”

“Scary?” Peter can’t help but laugh. “Have you heard half the stories Mr Stark has about me? I wouldn’t say boo to a goose.” Not unless the goose in question was involved in illegal activity, but it’s best to play up the helpless teenager act.

Harley grins back. “Well, you’re not so scary now.”

Peter snorts.

“For real, dude, I was kinda being an ass when I was around you.”

“Well, so was I.” Peter nudges Harley’s shoulder with his own. “So, sorry.”

“Yeah, I’m sorry.” Harley’s laugh is rueful. “Being around Tony really made us into assholes, huh?”

They fall into comfortable silence, staring at the opposite wall. Peter finds his eyelids drooping and starts to nod off, despite his senses screaming at him that this is the worst place to let his guard down. Every time he drops off, he wakes up with his head resting on Harley’s shoulder.

* * *

Peter jerks awake when he hears footsteps echoing outside their cell. Lots of footsteps, heavy and angry.

“Harley.”

“Hm?”

“Harley, wake up.”

“‘M just–“

The door flies open with a bang.

“Get up.”

They jump to their feet, off-balance. Harley stumbles into Peter and two of the men haul him upright.

The leader stares them both down. He gestures to Peter. “Does Stark know you have that one? Have you made any demands?”

Peter clenches his jaw and sticks his chin out.

“Not yet. We only sent him the video of the other one. Wanted to let him squirm a little.”

“Good. New plan.” The leader pulls out a set of thick metal cuffs, and Peter hears Harley swallow. “Cuff the brat.”

“Sir, those are the restraints for Spider-Man–“

The leader raises his eyebrows, and the man holding Peter starts to giggle; it’s half-hysterical and honestly terrifying.

“Really? This kid? Are you serious, Boss?”

“Deadly.” The leader stares right at Peter. “You better believe you’re far more valuable to me than your friend over there, so if you make a nuisance of yourself, I won’t have an issue with shooting him.”

“I won’t fight,” Peter says instantly.

“Good boy.” A hand runs through his hair like he’s a dog, demeaning and mocking.

“Parker?” Harley’s voice is quivering. “What are they talking about?”

“Don’t worry.” Peter manages a smile, although it probably looks more like a grimace. He’s not sure how it got to this, to him reassuring Harley Keener of all people. “I’ll be fine.”

“If that’s what it takes to make him feel better,” someone scoffs.

“Do whatever you want with that one.” The leader carelessly gestures in Harley’s direction. “Squeeze every last cent out of Stark, for all I care. We don’t need him to get Spider-Man for us. Not anymore.”

“It’s okay,” Peter says quietly, closing his eyes so he doesn’t have to look into Harley’s face and see the emotions there: surprise, betrayal, anger maybe. He doesn’t know, and he doesn’t want to find out.

Something shoves him in the back and he goes down hard, unable to catch himself. The ropes slip away from his wrists, and for a second he’s tempted to leap to his feet.

He can’t. Not with Harley in danger.

Cold metal snaps shut, painfully tight, and he can’t help a shocked whimper at how far back they’re yanking his arms.

“Stop it!” Harley snaps. “You’re hurting him.”

“Good.” The leader crouches in front of Peter. “If you weren’t wanted by someone far richer and far more powerful than me, you little freak, I would be telling my men to have at you right now.”

“Lucky me, then,” Peter mutters, and gets a boot to the ribs.

“Stop!” Harley shouts. “Parker–!”

“Get him up.”

They haul Peter to his feet, but not before locking cuffs around his ankles, too.

“I said I wasn’t going to fight,” Peter says evenly, but terror is starting to pool in his gut. Who the hell has restraints strong enough to hold him?

“I don’t care. I know what you can do.” The leader jerks his head. “Get him outside. I want him far away from here before Stark shows up for that one.”

Peter is dragged out of the room by his arms and his hair, Harley’s furious shouts echoing behind him. He struggles for purchase with his cuffed legs, but just ends up stumbling.

“Walk.”

“I _can’t_.”

“I’ll gag you if you don’t shut the fuck up.”

Peter rolls his eyes but doesn’t say anything else, even when they force him out into an alley and he sees the armoured van waiting for him. He almost wants to laugh at how scared of him they must be. Yelling erupts from behind them, peppered with gunshots, and Peter’s stomach drops.

_Harley_. “Asshole! You said-!”

The leader doesn’t spare him a glance. “Someone go find out what the fuck is going on in there.”

Before anyone can move, the door flies open and a guard stumbles out.

“Stark’s here!” he gasps. “Him and War Machine – they’re coming this way.”

“We need to move.” The leader bares his teeth and pulls his gun, pointing it at Peter’s head. “Get in the van.”

Peter doesn’t move.

“ _Get_ in the _fucking van_.”

“I can’t walk, dipshit.”

“Well, our client never said you had to be in one piece.” He flicks the safety off, dropping the barrel to aim at Peter’s arm.

_BANG_.

The door bursts open and a hail of repulsor blasts takes out each one of the men standing around Peter. Mr Stark strides out into the alley, retracting his faceplate when he sees Peter.

“Kid!” His expression is one of indescribable relief, and he opens the suit the rest of the way. “Shit, are you okay?”

Peter blinks in shock; he and Mr Stark have barely said two words to each other since more than a week ago, but Mr Stark is running his hands over his face and arms like Peter is the most precious thing he’s ever seen.

“They hurt you. I’m sorry.” Mr Stark cups Peter’s cheeks, turning his face from side to side.

“Harley,” Peter manages. He’s more important, right? “You should–“

“He’s fine, he’s fine, Rhodey’s with him.” Mr Stark doesn’t even look away from Peter. “Here, let me try and break those things.”

“One of them might have a key-“

“Parker!” Harley bursts through the door and skids to a halt in front of Peter, looking him up and down. “Holy shit! Are you okay?”

“I’m good, man.” Peter winces as Mr Stark unlocks his cuffs and his arms and legs are freed. “What about you? Did they hurt you?”

“I’m fine, I’m fine.” Harley shakes his head, disbelief written across his face. “You’re Spider-Man?”

“…yeah.”

“Holy shit,” Harley breathes.

Mr Stark throws one arm around Harley’s shoulders and draws Peter close to his chest with his other hand. “Thank God you’re both okay.” Through his haze of lightheaded relief, Peter feels lips press against his temple.

The War Machine armour steps into the alley, its helmet folding away to reveal Colonel Rhodes. “Two kids, present and correct. Awesome.”

Harley slings the arm that isn’t squashed against Tony’s chest around Peter’s shoulders. “We good? Yes? Good, let’s go home.”

“Home sounds good,” Peter agrees. “Wait! Shit – how long were we gone? Does May know–?”

“Nearly eight hours,” Mr Stark says, barely concealing the echoes of panic in his eyes. “And of course she noticed, Pete; she sent you out to get milk and you took longer than fifteen minutes.”

“Oh, crap, she’s gonna freak–“

“Already sent Hap to get her. Come on.” Mr Stark engages his helmet again. “Pick your ride, kids, we’re going back to the Compound.”

* * *

May doesn’t freak out as much as Peter had been afraid of. She fusses over his bruised cheek, and then over Harley’s still-dilated pupils.

“Just to be clear,” Harley says, “since apparently I’m still drugged: you are, in fact, Spider-Man.”

“Yep.”

“Awesome.”

“Super awesome.”

“Yeah, _super_ awesome,” Mr Stark agrees drily, “especially when you get kidnapped as an exchange _for_ Spider-Man.”

“Right, so they can’t have known about me the whole time; how’d they work it out?” Peter says.

“I don’t know, kid,” Mr Stark says, “but it won’t get out, I promise.”

“Okay,” Harley calls over from the lounge area; May is making him lay on on the couch. “I mean this in the nicest possible way, but who’d want Spider-Man?”

“Who doesn’t, more like.” Peter kicks his legs against the breakfast bar. May shoots a panicked glare over the back of the couch. “No, May! It’s not that bad, I’m joking–“

“Gargan.” Colonel Rhodes walks in. “Sound familiar to anyone?”

“Oh, shit.”

“What’s ‘shit’, kid?”

“Yo, Parker!” Harley shouts. “Do you lay eggs?”

“Did Ned tell you to ask that? Because I swear–?”

“Focus up, Pete,” Mr Stark says, but he’s grinning. “Who’s Gargan?”

“Uhh, he was on the ferry. With Toomes. They were about to do a deal before I jumped in. Karen should remember – I think he has a record, too.”

“Got it,” Rhodey says. “Was there anyone else there you recognised?”

“No, don’t think so.”

“Okay.” Rhodey turns to leave again, clapping Peter on the shoulder as he passes. “Pepper and I will sort it. Tony, look after your kids.”

“Thanks, platypus,” Mr Stark calls. “And don’t think I didn’t notice you wincing there, Parker. You’re up once your aunt is done with Harley.”

* * *

It takes two solid meals in a row and Harley peeing at least seven times before May takes her watchful gaze off both of them. Thankfully, she only pronounces Peter’s arms as strained and his ribs bruised, rather than anything serious, and excuses herself for a girls’ night with Pepper.

Mr Stark isn’t letting them out of his sight so quickly, but his job is made easier by the fact they’re now practically inseparable.

“Seriously,” he says when Harley shifts position for the tenth time and ends up with his head on Peter’s elbow, “were you two pranking me the whole time? Was it a conspiracy? Did something really bad happen? I know Brooklyn is a scary place for a little country boy like you–“

“We just decided to be friends,” Peter says around a mouthful of popcorn. _The Empire Strikes Back_ is playing, but Mr Stark is only paying attention to him and Harley. “Shh, you’re missing the walker scene.”

“Just decided to be friends?”

Harley nods cheerfully, leaning against Peter’s shoulder. “We decided we’d have a better chance against you, and therefore at getting our inheritance early, if we combined our talents.”

At that, Mr Stark retreats to the other end of the couch. “I hate you both,” he mutters, shooting them a dark glare over his own bowl of popcorn. “Little fucking goblins. First thing tomorrow, I’m writing you both out of my will.”

Peter laughs and Harley’s head slips from his arm into his lap. His weight is reassuring; they’re both safe, alive and unharmed.

“How’d you know things were weird between us?” Harley says when Luke crash-lands on Dagobah.

“I guessed they would be,” Mr Stark says. “You two are…identical in some ways and complete opposites in others. You were either gonna be best friends or deadly enemies. Introducing you was always going to be a toss-up.”

“Your mistake, old man,” Harley laughs, now lying with his feet on Peter’s legs, “together we’re unstoppable!”

Mr Stark fixes them with a serious gaze. “You underestimate my power.”

Peter nearly falls off the sofa laughing.

“Said Anakin right before he lost,” Harley says. “Hey, Parker, what the fuck? No corrupting people with the Star Wars prequels.”

“The prequels are good–!”

“They’re _shit_!”

“People hate on them unfairly!”

“They deserve it.”

Peter throws a handful of popcorn at him. “No, they don’t–!”

“You really gonna sit there and tell me any of them are better than the original trilogy?”

“That battle with Darth Maul is iconic, fuck you.”

“…maybe so.”

Peter smirks and settles back into the couch. “Shut up, you’re missing Yoda.”

He catches Mr Stark watching them again, a fond smile quirking at his lips, and smiles back.

“But hear me out, okay? Jar Jar Binks is the worst character in the history of cinema–“

“Harley, shut the fuck up!”

**Author's Note:**

> i'm on tumblr at [akillerqueenwrites](https://akillerqueenwrites.tumblr.com), or my main blog [akillerqueenyouare](https://akillerqueenyouare.tumblr.com). come say hi, ask questions, leave prompts or just yell at me. i've also made a twitter, [@killerqueenao3](https://twitter.com/killerqueenao3) , if any of you want to talk to me there (it's mostly pictures of my dog). thank you for reading!


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